Two books I’ve read recently have stimulated my thinking related to doing life together in the context of the church. Parker Palmer’s, A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life is written for a spiritually aware audience. Patrick Lencioni’s, Getting Naked: A Business Fable About Shedding The Three Fears That Sabotage Client Loyalty is written for a secular business management audience. It’s not hard to recognize that the respective target audiences are vastly different and yet both authors speak to the same issue – the importance of authenticity and transparency in the context of human relationships. Both books talk about the fear that keeps us from those kind of relationships. Both highlight the perils of avoiding the issue. Both illustrate what can happen when individuals are courageous enough to risk facing their fears and walk vulnerably into authentic, transparent relationships.

Scripture describes authenticity and transparency as the hallmarks which are to set us apart in the context of our relationships within the church. Paul addressing the Ephesian church says, “So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body” (Ephesians 4:25). Peter says, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

These are not new truths to most of us. We know what the Bible says. Many of us would say, “This we believe!” But we also know the reality of our experience. We know the fears which keep us from living with the level of authenticity and transparency to which Scripture calls us. Oftentimes we have good reason for our fears – we’ve been hurt when we’ve tried to be authentic and transparent. The question then is, do we live imprisoned in our fears, living duplicitous lives, or do we risk again and seek out relationships where authenticity and transparency are the foundational values upon which the relationship is built.

As I have reflected on these concepts, I have come to appreciate how blessed I am. I’m blessed because I can quickly name 8 or 10 people I count as friends where the basis of our relationship is authenticity and transparency. These are true friends. They tell me not what I want to hear – they tell me what I need to hear. And they do it in a way that still accepts me as a friend.

Now I also have the other kind of relationships where the basis of the relationship is something other than authenticity and transparency. It’s built on pretence or conditional love. In those relationships, I have a choice as to whether I’m going to live authentically or play the relational game. Do I choose a “divided” life as Parker Palmer identifies it or am I going to live consistent with the internal values that drive me?

What if each of us could say with conviction that we had 6 quality relationships based on authenticity and transparency? And if we couldn’t with integrity say that, what if we committed ourselves to seek out those kinds of relationships one at a time? What if we changed our mantra from “this we believe” to “this we must do!”?

Apparently this is something that’s important not only to spiritually aware and discerning people – it’s important for business leaders as well. To me that sounds like a great opportunity for us as Christians to be subversive agents of change incarnating the Gospel in transformational ways in a culture that longs for courageous relationships characterized by authenticity and transparency.

Ken.